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Thoughts on watching “adult films” while in a relationship?


Carolina

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In the relationships I’ve been in, the idea of watching someone else felt like a form of cheating so it’s just kind of been agreed upon that we just won’t while in the committed relationship. Also if I’m invested in the person I’m with, I don’t really feel tempted to look elsewhere.
 

I think maybe if he just watched it on his own time and didn’t go out of his way to tell me about it, I probably don’t really care. But now I’m wondering what’s the general consensus on this? I hear mixed reviews when I ask my friends... usually my guy friends think it’s completely ok while my girl friends lean towards the thought that it’s cheating. THOUGHTS?

 

Bonus question: would you be okay with your significant other having an Only Fans? What if they were making bank with their OFs? Does that change things?

Edited by Carolina


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I don’t think personal consumption of porn is cheating unless there’s something obsessive about it - a particular actor/actress, a certain OnlyFans account, etc. 

 

If you’re mixing it up and just trying to find something to get your nut, no biggie. Just don’t get weird about it and start having fantasies about someone you see online lol.

 

 

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Porn isn’t cheating imo. Now if you’re a weirdo that’s rubbing one out to friends instagrams or something then you got a problem. Same way people in couples can talk about celebrity crushes etc.

 

Don’t love the idea about dating someone with an OF but if it’s making a shit ton of money or something they really wanna do then maybe? Idk it’s a case by case basis I think. It’s also okay to say it’s a deal breaker imo, just not for me.
 

 

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I probably have an unpopular opinion on this but watching adult films is all about the fantasy and the stimulation, and it’s all virtual. I don’t understand how that could be considered cheating. I think it shows a lot of insecurity and jealousy if you think that your partner shouldn’t be able to be pleased by the idea of anything but yourself. Maybe you guys should try watching porn together. That being said, the straight porn film industry I’ve heard is fucking scummy. 
 

I would personally be fine with my partner having an OF. It’s their body and they can do what they want with it. I would just hope and trust that they would keep things virtual unless we had agreed on an open relationship. 

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To me personally I think it is indeed a form of cheating, since you're kinda not satisfied enough with your partner, having to get external stimulus out of the relationship itself to enjoy a moment supposed to be very intimate and satisfying. It's maybe a signal something may not be that right at all. To me couples should feel comfortable enough to talk about sex and their personal wishes within the context without the need to show sex material in order to actually do it themselves. 

 

would you be okay with your significant other having an Only Fans? What if they were making bank with their OFs? Does that change things?

 

Nop. Having to sell your body online to be able to make a comfy living is something I'm really don't want to anyone else. People get exploited this way, families get destroyed like that. So it's def a no

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7 minutes ago, Flukejiver said:

I don’t think it’s cheating but I also don’t think it’s right to do while in a relationship.

 

I wouldn’t want the person I’m with to have an OF.

Pretty much this 

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I would never consider it cheating unless it's something like them paying someone to specifically make them content behind their significant other's back (i know a guy in the rs community who subs to a ton of onlyfans and pays them to make custom stuff for him and pretty sure his wife doesn't know - yikes) knowing they aren't okay with it.

Just watching whatever is online as long as it's not harmful is fine imo but I also don't think you should lie to your significant other or do it behind their back. It should certainly be something you discuss with them and how the both of you feel about it. I know some couples watch it together, some don't care in the slightest what the other watches and some don't want their significant other watching at all. I think whatever is fine at the end of the day as long as it's discussed and agreed upon in the relationship, when I say agreed I mean both parties agreeing with something they're actually comfortable with and perhaps coming to some sort of compromise if they're of differing opinions.

I don't want to sound like a dick but I feel like if someone is in a relationship and can't take their significant other watching porn then perhaps that relationship is not fated to last. 

 

What Dickus said about it being fine as long as it's not obsessive I think is probably important too.

 

As for your second question I wouldn't fully say no or yes, once again I think it'd be something that would be discussed. What are their reasons for wanting to do it? Financial or something else? Do they actually want to, or feel they're pressured to due to lack of income? What content will be posted? I'm not insanely familiar with onlyfans but I think some girls don't do fully nudity so perhaps something like that i'd be more comfortable with (though it's still likely not something i'd prefer). There's also a lot of freaks out there so I think it'd be concerned about both her safety and my own. I don't think i'd be elated to have my significant other make one unless for whatever reason it was needed, but I don't think it'd be the end of the relationship either necessarily. 

 

Tl;dr I feel discussing these things with your significant other and coming to an agreement that you're both comfortable with where it's not one side significantly more uncomfortable than the other is key and if that's done, do what you want I guess. Significant other with onlyfans isn't something i'd intentionally seek out but also isn't necessarily the end of the world.

Edited by Adam_
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I wouldn't view porn as cheating but the studies done on how it affects our stimulation in relationships is true.

 

The onlyfans thing is funny because I never really know what that was until recently. Was talking to my wife how the cash me outside girl made a million on hers last week.

 

As for me no even for a million dollars I wouldn't want my partner doing that.

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I don’t think it’s cheating but I think it can definitely have negative impacts on your relationship and there are studies that back this up. I don’t see the need to watch it given my relationship but to each their own. As long as it’s agreed upon that’s their choice. 
 

Would not be okay with my wife having an only fans. 

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7 minutes ago, dnd5 said:

I don’t think it’s cheating but I think it can definitely have negative impacts on your relationship and there are studies that back this up. I don’t see the need to watch it given my relationship but to each their own. As long as it’s agreed upon that’s their choice. 
 

Would not be okay with my wife having an only fans. 

Someone has a kinky sex life 

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Don't really have an issue with porn consumption while in a relationship. Sex takes two people and it's ridiculous to think that both parties are interested in sex all the time. Both male and female. I think it gets pretty close to crossing the line when you're purchasing said porn, like buying certain girls onlyfans etc. But just loading up pornhub and rubbing one out real quick to random strangers isn't anything intimate.

 

As for a SO having an OF, I guess it really depends on a few variables. If it was just a side thing and it was done anonymously then I probably wouldn't have an issue. I'd like to think I'd be as respectful as possible, but if my SO became dependent on OF, and it was their "career" so to speak (like these social media girls who are all over Twitch/Twitter/Instagram etc to promote their onlyfans) and they became widely known (think of a Belle Delphine type), my level of comfort would definitely begin to wane and I can't be confident I'd be fine with it for long.

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17 minutes ago, Vanzant said:

Someone has a kinky sex life 

freak in the sheets 😉

 

jk but I think there’s something to enjoying what you have and cherishing your significant other that keeps your relationship strong

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