Kids

[bomb 145]

3 minutes ago, Ashley said:

Definitely want to have kids when the time is right. Married, both financially stable, living in a good community, and able to have the time to properly raise them.

hmu

[Pietru 1,232]

If you don't have kids:

 

• Would you like to have kids? Nope

If you don't want kids:

• Why don't you want kids? I never liked kids in general - I'm honestly not patient enough to raise a kid

[BleakTerror 451]

i want to have kids so i can create a mini army of kids who are good at sports 

[Encore 194]

If you don't have kids:

• Would you like to have kids?

Yes I would like to have kids one day. 

My life plan has always been that I want to have kids in the future once I am financially stable. This is something that I've always wanted and don't really have any specific reason other than that personally to me atleast its something natural and part of life. 

 

 

[Daniela 778]

don't have kids now but I definitely want to have a family in the future. That doesn't necessarily mean the kids have to be my own, if I meet a partner that already has kids then I'm perfectly happy with that, or potentially even adopting. 

[Krystal 420]

No and no.

 

I'm okay with the whole "You never truly grow up if you don't have kids" thing. I love my life and don't want to throw a wrench in it from having kids. Why would it be a wrench? Because we have zero familial support. Both my husband and I lost our moms and we don't have reliable family close enough to help us watch the kids. So we'd either need to rely only on my income with him being a stay-at-home dad or put them in an expensive daycare. Either way, I'm not interested in living the paycheck-to-paycheck life again.  That being said, we don't HATE kids. We hope to be aunt/uncle figures for our friends' kids and are already talking about how to make the new house kid-friendly so that they can visit without worries or so we can babysit over a weekend or whatever. I just don't think it's a good idea to have kids who won't have a family.  We thought about adopting so we can skip ahead to when the kid can be unsupervised for a few hours here and there which would allow us to keep our jobs, but adoption is expensive. 😕

[@Brian 2,807]

Nope and no. The quiet life is the life for me. Wouldn't want the responsibility.

[Carolina 728]

No kids yet! I would want 2-3 babies once I’m a bit older and feeling completely stable in all aspects of my life. Once I find a perfect daddy for little Winston, then I can sprout little caros into the world 

[danex 461]

none yet, but I would like to have one eventually.

[3lite 111]

Context: Had a kid when I was 24, wife was 20; kid is 8 now. kid is girl.

 

If you have kids:

• Have your kids changed you in any way? And if so, how? Did you become more mature or had more agency to become mature?
  
  It is hard to disentangle what changes were due to having a kid versus me maturing since I had my kid at a pretty young age.
  
  - I subtly saw myself partaking in less risky activity and didn't realize I was doing it until later.  When I go skiing, I'm slower.  When I kayak in the winter, I wear a drysuit. I started putting safeguards in for dangerous work situations.
  - Having to care for a family rather than just me caused me to be more motivated to finish my schooling quickly, get a good job, and perform well in the job.  If it were just me, I could be a bum if I failed and go back with my parents.  Not the case with a family.
  - Caused me to be less selfish.  Primarily towards my wife.  Taking care of a kid takes a lot of sacrifice and it can't be all on one person.
   
• What is the best thing about having kids?
  
  - Love and purpose.  I don't have much in the way of family or friends near me.  I have work friends, but I grew up on the east coast (where my wife and I were raised) and live on the west coast now.  Just me and my girls versus the world.
  
   
• What is the worst thing about having kids?
  
  - Personal sacrifice.  Your life doesn't become about you anymore.  4 nights a week = swim lessons (~8 hr a week).  Kid goes to bed at 8 pm - can't leave the house without paying for a sitter. Want to do something on the weekend that you enjoy but your kid doesn't?  Well, you can, but if you get time to yourself for fun, you feel like you're putting the burden on your wife.

 

Would I recommend?  I love my daughter and I'm happy with my situation, but I don't think everyone is cut out for the kid life and I think that's ok.  One thing I've struggled with is that I've got little support outside of my wife.  I would recommend prospective parents make sure they've got a good support system because otherwise it gets expensive very quickly with sitters or can quickly drain one's sanity.

Also, I started young, which has advantages and disadvantages.  Reaping many of the advantages now, but when I started off living on a college stipend and some university teaching, it was a lot of nights of $2-3 family-sized spaghetti or curry rice meals.  Wife never had a chance to go to school.  Being financially stable can ease a lot of the stress.

 

Edited April 5, 2021 by 3lite

[Brazz 412]

no kids yet, not too fussed either way but im probably 51/49 in favour of having kids

[Da Bazz 715]

15 hours ago, Dickus said:

1. No

2. Yes, eventually. Having a kid right now wouldn't be ideal would it. Preferably several years down the line once I've had time to build a nest egg and start a home.

I didn't know apes built nests?

[Wise Counsel 86]

.

Edited May 25, 2021 by Wise Counsel

[≈Vanuckle 2,136]

No kids but would love to have them once I'm ready.

[10th Reaper 159]

I don't have one yet but one is in the making. 

 

Got our 20 week scan next month and it's due back end of Sept.